I swear I thought I had something to say...

I have an excess of anxious energy and nothing to do with it. I keep thinking that I've got a point to all of my ramblings but I can't seem to articulate any of them. So, this post is a bunch of updates on random things.

Point number one - somehow after a month or more of not paying too much attention to eating habits or workouts, I've managed to maintain my weight... I'm still down a whopping -16.6 for the year. yay me.

Point number two - dad goes in for more tests today. Blood work and whatever else they need to do so that they have more information about what's going on when he meets with the Oncologist on Monday or Tuesday. wow. I don't wish that specialist on anyone. ever.

Point number three - Kansas here they come, for the first visit at least. If you are from the Midwest, are you transplanted or home grown? How does a California family begin to adjust to life in a small Midwestern town?

Point number four - I've got the day off and I'm shuttling my parents around. Once upon a time I think I had a more interesting life...truly. I'm not complaining - my parents are entertaining at the very least... good times.

Point number five - I need a new book to read - I want to escape reality so that I don't have to deal with my life right now. Taking suggestions now.

Point number six - I hate the waiting game, "hurry up and wait" Cancer says... just wait. Wait for tests to be run, wait for results of tests, wait for the appointment to find out what kind, wait, wait, wait.

I've had better days and much better moods. The worst part is that I really just feel numb. I am irritable but that isn't anything new. I'm not trying to be dramatic, it's not my style. I don't want to cry, I don't want to fight, I want to curl up into a ball and be left alone with silence. Left to just drift on a fluffy cloud or whatever "happy place" I can dream up.